This formed the basis of a children’s talk I led on Mother’s Day at church. Could be adapted for use in schools or for assemblies. Some primary aged children were asked some questions about their mums and this is what they said:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where dad keeps his keys.
2. Mostly to clean the house.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

What kind of little girl was your mum?
1. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
2. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?
1. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least £1000 a month? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?
1. My grandma says that mum didn’t have her thinking cap on.

What’s the difference between mums and dads?
1. Mums work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but mums have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mum, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

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